Who's your Daddy

So a man is going to have a baby and why do I care?

Because my wife, as she was leaving the house this evening, told me to think of the pros and cons and construct an argument.....

Man, I knew that she didn't like domestic work, but resorting to have me being the child bearer?

Actually, to tell you the truth, I can't wait. I mean, who wouldn't go through a little bit of pain to have a 1 year vacation! This is going to be great. After this I will hold all the cards in our relationship.

I mean, can she really say no to getting me a beer from the fridge while I am watching the Canadiens and breast feeding? Of course not...I had her baby? Will there be a circumstance under which she will be able to complain when I go golfing? No! I had her baby! Farting, belching, leaving the toilet seat up, letting my sweat pants hang down....once again, all covered.....baby, baby, baby, baby.

This is going to be great! I'll be able to get ALL of the best parking spots for the next couple of years, stay at home, look after the kids and watch my stories. No more wondering which re-run episode of "Law & Order" on Bravo I missed seeing for the third time! And, because delinquent kids raised by neglectful parents create an inordinate amount of crime, I am doing my part to clean up the streets!

Yup, it's gonna be great. Gonna take some balls to do it though. But when she gets home, I will go fish mine out of her purse and we will be ready to go!